Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
