this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
