we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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