please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
