I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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