well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
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We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
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Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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