i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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