then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I still have a little drunk in my system
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
