I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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