Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
