I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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