dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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