Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
