whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
