I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Bring me that man meat
They have beer where we have blood.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
