I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
