she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i barfeds in our rink
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
