I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
