My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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