We won't sleep together?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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