There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
