Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
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He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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