You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
