I just pynch a tree in the face
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
