Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
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We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit