I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies