He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"