Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
