i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
