Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
