I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
