I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
