also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dignity is for republicans.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
