you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
