I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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