Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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