Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
