I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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