No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
