Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My liver just broke up with me...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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