hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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