have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Green mimosas i think yes
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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