you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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