so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
