i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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