So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
