i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
