I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize