Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
