You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
