You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize