Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
