I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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