Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
