I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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