you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize