on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
