I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.