you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
