question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
