I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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