What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
