also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
this is an emotional support booty call
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
