So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
pray to the hookup gods
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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