Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Two words: blizzard sex
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